), progress;} Black Moustache 2013 S1-09 English Language Blog: Dawn and Crane - Reading Practice Question 10 (Wife)

Friday, 12 July 2013

Dawn and Crane - Reading Practice Question 10 (Wife)

Our Story
Bella glared intensely at the smelly unshaved face. Her husband, John, had spent days in the casino, and had not showered since. His bloodshot eyes, dark heavy eye bags and unkept hair made him look as if he was a beggar, not the once almighty, rich and smart John anymore. 

“It’s time you came home,” Bella walked towards him, “but we have nothing to give you. You have squandered all our money, even Jet and Jennifer have no more pocket money or savings.” John felt a twinge of guilt rush through him. But he kept his cool and shuffled his feet towards the drawer to check for any money. He could not withstand not getting back to the casino and trying his luck again. He had been gambling, but each time he did, he grew more determined to win the large sums of money. But he lost again and again.

Bella held her breath and closed her eyes, and a lone tear left a wet trail on her pale cheek. She came to a halt and breaks down with more drops of tears dribbling one after another down her face. She could not help it but to feel weak. Then all she could see was darkness. It was not the lights, it was her. She blacked out, falling to the ground.


  1. very interesting and rich text. 9/12 mates.

  2. 8/12, some capital and grammar errors, ending was rather awkward. Very good description.

  3. 9/12 overall. Certain parts were emotionless but others were full of expression. Pacing was a bit too slow but the descriptive text made up for it.